“Life is a constructed reality”, or so the lovely Mz Berlin tells me all the time. She’s right. I’m gearing up for a banner New Year on many fronts. The holidays were nice. I was a bit on edge (business-wise) for a lot of December as I gear up for big time filmmaking adventures in 2009, but all seems to be somewhat falling in to place, which is good.
So, now we start into 2009. I’m off to AVN this week. That’s the big porn convention in Las Vegas. I’ve been a few times, mostly when I was nominated for an AVN award in some way. Last year I traveled with the afore mentioned Mz Berlin where she yelled at billboards and craved Starbucks. I’m happy to say we’re traveling together again this year. Together we are going to make a splash at the convention… well, truthfully, she’ll make a splash and I hope to connect with a few more clients to make more films, but we all splash in our own ways.
Beyond that, I don’t know what my fetish future is going to be. I plan to make more films with Berlin. Her first film (not out yet) is awesome, and she did a great job directing it. She’s already planning part two of the series and I’m excited to shoot that as well. I hope GwenMedia wants to do more with me, but I also know that I want to try and get a foothold into a more mainstream fetish porn market, if anything so I can get a bigger budget. Fetish just doesn’t sell as a pure subject matter anymore, and as Kink.com has proven, fetish porn is the way to go. So we’ll see what moves I can make in that direction.
I’ll put up another partial story this week. It’s better than nothing, right? And if someone wants to help me write additional chapters to any of these, feel free to email. Maybe together we can create something cool.
(For many years I’ve had the habit of finding some inspiration then starting stories, only to lose that inspiration and never finish the story. A number of you have asked me to put these up, but I’ve resisted. But since I have so little time to write these days, I figured I’d start putting some up, just for fun. Note that I’ll probably never finish these, but they are fun on their own, so enjoy.)
Mei
by Thndrshark
I had always imagined that half of having a slavegirl would be breaking her into the concept that she was really a slave. Whether play or for real, for a night or a lifetime, any girl I’d taken the role of Master with had required a certain amount of “convincing.” Some might take just a little, some required, and insisted on, being broken to the task. I’d admit that those were fun, but as I watched Mei through the shower door, I now realized how much fun total submission could be.
She was kneeling patiently outside the door. Mei was a small girl, as many Japanese women can be. Though she had just turned 22, she was only 5′2″ and 93 pounds. Her long dark hair had a soft curl that cascading down her back, covering her bound arms. She had been mine for two years now, and for most of that I had kept her naked. Don’t get me wrong; I love rubber, leather and the like, and she did have many outfits, but most of the time she wore just her corset, and now, her chastity belt.
I could just see through the steam covered glass, admiring her tiny waist and 34C breasts, which looked large on her small frame. The light just caught glints off her nipple rods and rings as well as her nose ring. I could see how her arm position was making her shoulders ache, but I knew she wasn’t being damaged. After many days testing, I knew she could withstand the reverse prayer she was now in for weeks, as she was enduring now. I couldn’t help but grow hard just watching her there, totally submissive and totally my own.
I had been introduced to Mei through a dominant friend, David, who shared extreme interests with me, at least in theory. They had met at a party, started dating and he was the one who “unleashed”, for lack of a better term, her interest in submission. And boy did he unleash it! In the end, David was relatively poor, at least in the ability to truly keep a slave. So he introduced her to me.
The interesting factor was that he gave her to me. You heard me right. When they had met and both discovered their interests in true slavery, David had suggested to Mei that she write up a slave contract. He told her it could be for any term she wanted, with any restrictions. He figured this would be the safest way to insure she didn’t get into something that she wasn’t ready for. He had already discovered that she appeared to have an unbridled interest in total submission, but they had only been together a few months and he wanted to be sure.
A day later, much quicker than he had expected, she came back with a single page document. As she kneeled in front of him, her wrists crossed behind her and knees spread wide as she’d been taught, he read it. It simply stated that upon signing of this document, Mei would become the total and complete property of David’s. Words such as “indefinite” and “total ownership” made David stop to look down at his Japanese slavegirl. She, of course, would not meet his eyes, but her nipples were hard in response; he knew she was serious.
The gist of the contract that they signed gave Mei to David with no restrictions, limiations or exclusions. It also stated no time limit. Ultimately David owned Mei. There was one additional paragraph that noted that the contract was transferable, that David could trade, loan or otherwise sell Mei to anyone for any duration, including permanently. It also stated that the contract would remain binding for the new owner.
Now we all live in the real world, and we know true slavery is illegal. That’s not entirely true, however. You can’t make someone a slave against their will, but if someone wants to be a slave, they can act however they want. Mei wanted to be a slave.
Mei and David were a wonderful couple for awhile. David had almost as bizarre a fancination with the extreme as I, and within his means he did everything he could to make Mei live the part. Unlike most Dom/sub relationships, which in the end become a marriage with some bdsm play, David insisted from the start that Mei live the role. I don’t think it’s because David didn’t love Mei. i’m sure he did. But he wanted a real slave, not a play slave, and he made sure that’s what he got.
I visited them about three weeks after she had signed the contract. He had a small house that I used to share with him before I got my own place. When I arrived, the door opened and there was Mei. I could tell she had just dropped to her knees, having to open the door standing because her arms were bound hehind her at wrist and elbow. This pulled back her shoulders nicely, pushing out her breasts. These had been bound tightly and were bulging out from the rope bind, already turning a shade of purple, not dangerous but certainly uncomfortable. A variety of pins had been stuck all around her breasts, creating an interesting, and most certainly painful work of art. Other than that she was naked. I could see David’s newest addition between her legs, a shiny titanium ring through Mei’s clit. A little bell was hanging from it.
As i stepped in the door, she leaned down, kissing my shoes before saying, “welcome, Sir. My Master wants you to know this slave is at your disposal tonight.” I patted her on the head and followed the sound of dishes, wondering what trouble I could get into tonight.
David didn’t have Mei cook. He actually enjoyed cooking, was near gourmet quality and left the cleaning for his slave instead. He was plating dinner as I walked in, grabbing a greenbean off a plate.
“Knock it off,” he said, laughing. “You’ll mess up the design.” i stole another one, avoiding a slug.
“I’m just gonna mess it up in a few minutes anyway.” He shrugged as he finished the second plate, then placed the third serving in a shiny steel dog bowl. I didn’t comment, just smiled.
He grabbed the two plates, motioned to the wine bottle and we headed for the dining room. I could hear Mei coming behind us, crawling with some difficulty on her knees, her little clit bell ringing the entire way. As we sat, David greeted Mei with a pat on her head and put the dog bowl on the floor. She kneeled in her proper position, waiting patiently. David filled our wine glasses and I raised mine.
“A toast,” I said. “To my kinkiest friend and his slave, may he never grow tired of tormenting her… because if he does he needs to give her to me!” We laughed as we clinked glasses.
After dinner we sat in the living room, me on the couch and David on his favorite chair. He brought Mei over, leaning her back between his knees so the top of her head rested against his crotch, then absentmindedly began massaging her now purple breasts. Mei moaned quietly. I tried to focus on our casual conversation but couldn’t help but enjoy his torture, as he squeezed her needle filled breasts together, then pulled out one just to replace it again.
Finally, he seemed to notice what he was doing and looked at me with a grin.
“Wanna try?” Like he had to ask. I slide over to them as he pointed to more pins in a sterile tray on the coffee table. I selected one, lifting it to her breasts. I could tell her breath had quickened and her nipples were long and hard. I pushed the needle through her left nipple, at the base, from the top to the bottom. Mei screamed, but caught herself, gripping her lips tight together. A small trickle of blood followed the end of the needle down, dripping onto her alabastar stomach.
David just smiled, so I selected another, pushing it through the same nipple but now sideways at the base, creating a cross. I chose a longer needle next, almost three inches long, and positioned it ant the tip of her nipple. Looking up at David, he nodded, then put his left hand on Mei’s forehead, holding it down, with his other hand around her neck. She tensed, knowing something more severe was about to happen. I plunged the needle into the end of her nipple, down its length and into her breast, seating the head against the tip. Mei screamed in response, tears escaping her tightly clenched eyes.
I repeated the same pattern on her other nipple, bringing more tears and screams, before leaning back in the couch. What a great night.
After some more wine, David wanted to show me around. With Mei struggling behind us, he took me into what used to be the second bedroom. What we loved about that place was that both bedrooms were huge, with exposed beam vaulted ceilings and hard wood floors, so we didn’t have to argue over who got the better room. He had turned my room into a dungeon for Mei. The walls were a blood red and he had installed suspension in the ceiling. It had a great feel. There wasn’t too much gear but enough, with some harsh looking whips and a set of canes. Off to one end was a small metal cage on a pedestal. He walked me over to it. It only measured 3′ long, 2 1/2″ wide and the same tall.
“This is Mei’s cage. She sleeps her most nights and spends days in here when I am busy.” I knew that David rarely left Mei alone, but when he did,
I figured I haven’t given you guys and gals anything in a long time, so I better put something up so you know I’m still alive! As M will attest, I’ve been super busy, but that’s no excuse not to provide some tidbit for your wandering eyes. So, in lieu of a story, how about the trailer to my newest movie, “Sisters”? Click on the image below to play:
Trailer is courtesy GwenMedia.com, starring the lovely Mz Berlin and the equally lovely Madison Young. So make sure to check out the GwenMedia site and buy the video!
Oh, and someone mentioned it so I guess I should, too! I was nominated for Best Fetish Film by AVN this year, for Ivy Manor 5: Rubber Dreams! Also, the Ivy Manor Series was nominated for best series as well, which makes Isabella and I very proud.
As you all know, things change and evolve. Some for the better, some not so much. One of the things that I hope is for the better is bringing in Annachie Enterprises, run by a good friend of mine, to not only manage my website for me but also to provide a store. It’s always been my dream to offer a “one stop shopping” solution for all my videos, regardless of whom I make them for, and Annachie will do just that.
Over the next couple weeks you should see the store go live, and I encourage you all to, at the very least, enjoy the new galleries for my videos that will be up, as well as some tasty video trailers as well.
Annachie has an ultimate goal: They want me to direct original content for them as well, so soon there will be exclusive films available right here as well. From there the possibilities are endless, including someunique bdsm sites that we are starting to develop.
So join me in welcoming Annachie Enterprises and make sure, when the store goes live, to pick up any of my videos that you may not already own to complete your collection.
And yes, this will also hopefully free me up to write more. Woooo, hooooo!!!!
There’s a thing here in Southern California called “June Gloom”. It doesn’t refer to your mood, but rather the clouds that roll in during the month. Now I personally love June Gloom. It takes the heat off the day and reminds me of my childhood growing up in the forests. But most Californians complain about it for some reason, as if 355 days of sun in a year just isn’t enough… I hate those people.
I don’t know what that had to do with anything, but it seems to serve as a good title on my update of June as we wind into July. I finished the edit on “Sisters” and I’m very pleased. The ladies did great with both their performances, Madison suffered well, and it was fairly easy to cut. I’m now waiting on music, which is being composed. I’m told Gwenmedia will release it in August.
I’m now preparing for my next film, tentatively called “Captive”. This will be a very different film from my usual fair. I’m trying two things. First off, it’s a psychological piece. Ian Rath (at Fetish Nation) and I had always toyed with the idea of doing some sort of interrogation film and though this is different, it got me to thinking. Also, one of my favorite mainstream films along those lines is “Marathon Man”, in which Dustin Hoffman is tortured with the ill-fated words, “Is it safe?” over and over again. So when I thought of that, I thought what would it be like if a young lady stumbled into the wrong building and was mistaken for someone else. It’ll be interesting. I’m hoping I can keep the tension and interest high despite the different approach. We’ll see.
The second experiment is trying to do a film in one day. Typically I make my films in two or three days, and as you might guess, which makes my films more expensive. Now I don’t want to scrimp on projects that need that time (such as the upcoming Ivy Manor 6 shoot, which involves pony girls… weee!), but I should be able to make a film in a day if I try. So I guess we’ll see!
In other news… I shot Mz. Berlin’s directorial debut a few weeks ago. It stars herself and Princess Donna of Kink.com fame. We had a great time and the footage so far looks amazing. Make sure to get that video when it comes out. I’ll keep you posted.
On the “M” front… we’re having fun together, exploring various devious concepts of mine. The sensory deprivation stuff is getting serious now as we build next to an hour and a half. I’m starting to talk about a custom body mold so I can construct a full enclosure sarcophagus for her. Needless to say that will be a big step. I’ll need to get an EKG machine and a breath sensor to monitor her carefully since I won’t be able to see her. I’ve realized now that I need to forego rubber enclosure because it can get very hot, which is fun for short term but not fun for long term. Ideally she needs to be as comfortable as possible so we don’t have circulation issues and such. There’s a lot of safety that goes into this, folks, just so you don’t run off and stick your gf/bf into a bag and walk off!
I’m off to Burning Man this year. M invited me. At first I thought it would be just a fun experience, but I’m starting to get excited about it. I think “fun experience” is an understatement. The more I learn about it the more fascinated I am about it, and the more i want to participate. I’m trying not to get too worked up. My real goal is just to “be” when I go, not to run around crazy trying to do stuff. It’s a zen thing for me, but I’m very excited.
Finally, I’m really trying to write a new story for you all. Life has been crazy and I haven’t had much time to sit and concoct something good, but something has been brewing and I hope to find some time soon to jot it down. In the meantime, hang in there and keep commenting. At least it tells me you’re still out there.
I’ve been meaning to put this up to accompany M’s comments below, but I just plain forgot. Here it is now. She did the full hour like this. The controlling computer is behind her.
I spent the night with Mr. Fitzgerald last night and am happy to report to all you sensory dep junkies that I spent a full hour in a spandex sleep sack and hood. A hitachi was strapped to me with a custom vibe harness that my Mad Scientist had made, and I was strapped securely with leather straps around my arms and legs. A ball gag from Sinvention, then a spandex hood with no openings and a posture collar completed my condition. Of course, white noise was piped into my noggin and my rules played at different levels during my time, spoken by TMS himself.
I’m always nervous when we conduct a sensory dep experiment, and last night was no exception. TMS put everything out on the bed and left it there while he ran out to complete an errand. I surveyed his implements of control a few times, passing through the bedroom in the hotel room. (We were out of town, running an errand.) I usually try to bargain for less time, but didn’t this time. I was actually looking forward to some time at Mr. Fitzgerald’s mercy. We’ve been so busy with work and life and planning work and life lately that we haven’t gotten to tinker with, well, me.
When TMS got back from his errand, he called me into the bedroom and had me strip down, then lay on the bed. They he began applying one device after another. Hitachi, straps, body bag, ear plugs, ear muffs, ball gag, hood, collar. All of the wires were hooked up to his laptop and he said that my time was beginning. He ran his hand over my bound body and the sound kicked in. White noise sounds like the ocean. Listening to it at even a low level blocks out a lot of what you can hear. At a medium level, and combined with spoken words, I couldn’t hear anything. I think that TMS has tested this by snapping near my ear, but I’m not sure. I can’t ever see him! =) The earmuffs that go over the ear buds cut out even more sound and put me deeper into my own little world. They keep any compression from hurting my ears, which is especially nice with latex.
I couldn’t really see through the spandex hood. I think it has a built in blindfold. Combined with the white noise and the light compression of the spandex, and the bondage it felt like I was in a cocoon. I felt a little anxious as I tested my bondage, but it was an easy panic to fight because of the white noise lulling me into a state of calm. The posture collar and gag were harder to relax into. It sort of mentally separated my head from my body. I was segmented, and very aware of that.
My rules kicked in almost immediately, along with a question that required a response. TMS played it a few times manually until I got the idea, then he set it on random with the others. I didn’t know this until afterwards, of course. I just knew that the question kept repeating, so I tried to answer it. I’m sure I sounded ridiculous, but perhaps that was the point. My rules played at random intervals. The vibrator kicked on and off randomly. Sometimes for a few moments, sometimes for a while. It was rather frustrating. When the white noise would play and the vibe was off, it was very peaceful and relaxing and blissful. When a rule would play, it would be, basically, my minds’ only focal point. The same with the vibrator. It was a lot of fun, and I really liked the element of unpredictability.
The whole experience resulted in a very dreamy, submissive and slightly sweaty me. I’m really proud that I did the whole hour. We’ve done 1/2 an hour in heavy rubber and shorter stints as well. The compression of the latex sends me into a bit of a panic. The spandex breathes a bit more, so maybe that’s why it’s seems more sustainable, in my head. I do adore latex hoods, though.
Well, that was my adventure. I hope that y’all have some questions. Also, I think that Mr. Fitzgerald got a photo or two of me being “tormented”. I’m sure we can talk him into posting them
I’ve been having some good conversations of late about both my experiments in sensory deprivation and what the actual concept of sensory dep is. Clearly, I’m not truly trying to achieve sensory deprivation. As you might imagine from the name, the practice is actually a total removal of sensory input. This means no sight, no sound, no touch. This is difficult to achieve, and real practitioners employ some unique, and decidedly kinky-centric tools to do so.
I’ve mentioned the movie “Altered States” before. In it, the lead character is attempting to get in touch with the origins of man through the experience of removing all senses. It had something to do with accessing primal man when modern inputs are removed… or something like that. In the film they utilize special tanks that contain a particular mixture of saline solution to create a neutral buoyancy to anyone floating in it. Thus enclosed, with no light inside, and no sound allowed to enter, the participant floats. It’s pretty cool, ultimately, but not exactly as hot as I personally would go for.
In my experiments, I’m less interested in removing input as controlling it. Yes, by definition for me, I remove a number of the senses via hoods, ear plugs, latex body suits and the like. But in my world I take it a bit further. I like to, first of all, remove all ability to move. This is solely a BDSM concept, not one that a true sense dep practitioner employs. But for us, that’s a big part of the experience. Second, I do like to remove sight and sound, but I like to feed sound back into the “victim” via ear plugs. First off, white noise is an excellent cancellation device, removing external sound input but replacing it by a sort of ambiance that occupies the mind and fills the head. In some experiments with “M” I like to also feed in random, whispered instructions, for example her rules, that blend in with the white noise. And, as we all know, I like to randomize some electrical inputs as well as vibrator action. Some say this defeats the purpose of trying for sensory deprivation, but again it is more about controlling the input rather than just removing them. One of “M”’s greatest fears/loves is that she is controlled by a computer, randomly shock or vibrated, or fed instructions, without human input. That’s pretty erotic, in my mind.
Finally, I’m often asked what I get out of it. In a word: Control. I love the idea of controlling someone to such a level that they are dependent on me. And in this case, I hand off that control to something else, the computer. Once “M” is strapped down and all systems are on, I sit back, often in another room, watching her on my little camera feed, or sometimes in the same room, enjoying her reactions to the inputs or her subtle attempts to struggle. But even more than that, I love the idea of a submissive partner willingly giving me this ability. That is true control, when your partner is happy to experiment with you, to try new things and share in your own fantasies. So even though it may seem boring to watch a person so immobilized that little motion is visible, it is the overall concept that keeps it very entertaining to me.
One note on safety: I do not suggest or support anyone who tries this willy nilly. Sensory deprivation or long term bondage is fun but very taxing, both mentally and physically, on the submissive. Remember that when your partner is locked away, hooded and gagged, unable to move, even the slightest input will seem intense. Take the proper precautions, like testing the electrical settings BEFORE your partner is hooded to ensure the levels are manageable. No worries; once everything is in place even a light shock will seem intense. And NEVER, NEVER, NEVER leave your partner unattended. I am always in the room or watching close by. I never leave “M” alone truly, though I may make her thing I have. I think, deep down, she knows I’m there somewhere. That’s very important. Play hard, but play safe! Then you can do it again next week!
Sorry for the slow update. I really needed to rest after my “Sisters” shoot. I still feel like it was this week, but now realize it was almost two weeks ago we started shooting it.
The shoot went great. It was a pleasure working with everybody. Mz. Berlin and Madison Young were fun and energetic (two requirements on my sets), and worked very well together. I laughed when Madison wondered when she was going to get tied up. All the early scenes had very little bondage in them for her. It reminded me of Jewell Marceau in the early days of the Ivy Manor series. We had shot a whole day of the first Ivy Manor and she asked me, with some frustration, “When are you going to tie me up?!” As we all know, she got her wish soon enough!
Madison had some tough BDSM/D/s scenes, all of which she handled like a professional. Berlin had to deliver a ton of dialogue but did so like a champ. Both of them, only after a couple rehearsals, seemed to grasp the dialogue, which is better than most mainstream actors. I’m proud of them both, and hope to work with them again soon.
One of the longest shoots I’ve ever had, (only “Undercover”, at four days, was longer), it went fairly well. I’m in editorial now, so we’ll see how it all falls together.
In other news…
M and I drove up north last weekend for her birthday. I had a great time seeing the California coastline through her eyes.
She hadn’t really had a chance to see much of it ever, and driving through Big Sur is like seeing the beach on steroids. We enjoyed both the sunny version, with huge crashing waves on the rocks, and the moody, cloudy version on the way back. I had a wonderful time. She’s such a pleasure to hang out with. Based on her blog entry, I think she had fun, too. I managed to torment her a bit, with electrical on the way up and some good old D/s throughout. It was great having her wear her seamless collar a lot, and I loved the contrast of her elegantly dressed with her new septum ring. I think that stuff us hot.
We also went to Hearst Castle. I love this picture of M looking out over the big pool. Security was on her like fleas on a dog though, as she just briefly and quite accidentally, touched the column beside her. I guess they really are sensitive about anybody touching the place! It wasn’t as bad as some guy later on, leaning against a 3000 year old urn!
I’ve got a shoot this weekend then I’m deep in editorial for a couple weeks. More later.
Another note from M responding to some questions (FYI, she calls me, among other things, The Mad Scientist, or TMS for short):
What was it like to spend almost 5 hours alone in a locked cage?
Awesome. Quieting. Safe.
I loved it.
I spent 4 hours, 37 minutes and 46 seconds locked in a cage, in a room, by myself in a locked house. TMS plays football on Saturdays and it starts far too early for me to tag along. We thought it might be fun for me to stay locked up while he was gone, and the cage seemed perfect. He was worried about leaving me locked by myself, but I thought that was what made it awesome. Once we’d had our initial discussion he went into overdrive making his system for remote viewing work. Ultimately, he was fed images on his cell phone that refreshed every few seconds. Not exactly real time, but only a blink before it. I was very excited all week to be locked up for a morning. I seem to always be moving and going and talking and thinking and I forget to just BE. I’ve spent extended time in cages before, and have always enjoyed it. I’ve never spent time alone with this amount of isolation, or with the knowledge that I could be watched, which I found incredibly hot. A sleepy and naked me was led to the cage early Saturday morning and I was locked inside. A key to the lock was placed barely out of reach above the cage. If I had taken the key off, I’m not sure that I could have gotten it back on once I’d locked myself in. My cell phone was placed outside of the cage along with a bottle of water and a few other entertaining items. I loved the solitude that morning and TMS enjoyed knowing exactly where I was and what I was doing. I think that those few hours were wonderfully centering for me, and gave me the opportunity to think about my submission, our relationship, my life in general. I’ve found that the time I spend in some form of extended bondage (even my collar at night) is far more contemplative than other times.
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